Sunday, May 18, 2014

Sorry I'm Late! Oh, Really? (Essay by Bob Racine)



In the opening act of “1776,” the Broadway musical, the new delegate from Georgia to the Continental Congress, a Dr. Lyman Hall, on his first day, enters the meeting room where the fate of the colonies is to be decided within the coming month, only to find the room almost empty and no sign of the session having been called to order.  The doctor, having understood the meeting time to be 10:00 am, asks the custodian if this information is correct, to which the custodian replies in the affirmative.  Well, then, where is everybody, he asks, it already being many minutes past the hour.  “Oh, they’ll be strolling in pretty soon,” the custodian answers.  Hall is struck by the matter-of-factness in the custodian’s reply, signifying that the regulation regarding 10:00 is one honored more in the breach than in the observance.  Business as usual!  Late!  The fact of the matter is that all the delegates are either already in the building in various nooks and crannies or on their way somewhere around the corner.  In fact, business is already being transacted, as the delegates feel each other out on crucial issues such as (oh, yes) Independence.

In 1966 I traveled to Washington with three other ministers, it being our intent to get ourselves more up to date on reforms being proposed in the legislatures and various other matters, and the highlight of our stay in our nation’s capital for me was our visit to the Senate building and sitting in the gallery to watch deliberations.  Sen. Everett Dirksen, Republican Minority Leader at the time, was on the floor, and another senator whose name I never learned was expounding his views on the Vietnam situation.  In other words, he had the floor – a floor populated at that moment by just about nobody.  He was talking to mostly empty chairs, and even Dirksen was in private discussion with somebody else and not listening to the man.  The speaker seemed content simply to know that his words were being read into the record.  If “1776” is to any valid degree authentic, we have to conclude that the style in which government business is conducted has not changed drastically over the two centuries.

As best I understand it, much (though far from all) of the business in Congress is conducted off the floor anyhow.  Many deals are made, many compromises, many decisions are finalized, coalitions formed, off the floor or in committee.  Most of the “arm-twisting” that Lyndon Johnson did to get the votes he needed for the passage of the Civil Rights Act took place in hallways or in back rooms or even over the telephone.  By the time the delegates all get into their seats, much has often already been finalized.  The proceedings are simply a matter of formality, when the cards are turned over so to speak for everyone at the card table to read them.   

Business as usual!  Late by the clock, but not necessarily too late to fulfill an agenda!

In civilian society, not many are extended this kind of luxury.  Punctuality must be far better enforced, or else all is chaos, and commerce and industry and executive transaction falter.  Not many employers are tolerant of lateness to work among their employees.  Showing up when and where directed can make the crucial difference with those efficiency ratings.  When it comes to our private lives, punctuality can do much to preserve friendships that might otherwise be wrecked by the habitual tardiness of one of the persons involved.  How many of us have been annoyed by having to wait for someone who said they would be at the restaurant by 8:00, only to have them stroll in at 8:30 with the vaguest of excuses?  In volunteer work, when an individual’s services are counted on to go into motion at a specific time, with needy people waiting for them, those in charge do not have recourse to the same pressures that an employer can exert to bring someone on the payroll to heel.  Let’s face it -

Showing up late in most domains constitutes dishonesty, the failure to keep one’s word. 

All of us are late to something occasionally, due to honest human error – a  miscalculation of the time maybe.  Or there might be the intervention of a delay factor not foreseeable and not of our making or a frail body that cannot always be counted on to move at a preferred speed!  (I am learning fast about that in my eighty-second year.)  And then there is a little phenomenon called an emergency.  Of course we have to be straight about the fact that not everything in this world called an emergency is one.  In fact, most are not.  If I am late for a scheduled meeting and upon late arrival give as my reason that I had to drive a friend to work first, that is not an emergency; that is poor planning, the failure to get priorities straight in my head, something so many of us are too proud to admit that we can fail at.  How did I think I could do both in the same morning, afternoon or evening?  Nothing gets mistaken for emergency more in this world than the results of poor planning.  But granted, arriving late cannot always be prevented, not even for those of us who are religious about being on time.

What gums up the social workings mainly are the habitually tardy, and it is about them that I wish to vent a little now.  During my pastorate in a northern town many years ago there was a fellow clergyman – let’s call him by the alias Fred – who could almost never be counted on for promptness.  It was nothing unusual for his deacons to have to get a service started or delay it many minutes waiting for him to show up.  Counseling sessions, business meetings, youth fellowships, regional conferences, baptisms – nothing was off limits for him.  He was so much in the habit of late arrivals that he earned the nickname among everyone who knew him The Late Freddy Foster.  I was not around after he died many years later, but it would not surprise me if his gravestone read The Late Late Freddy.  An extreme example, but not an unheard of one!

I offer a maxim that I dare anyone to disprove or refute.  This is it: All habitually tardy people are habitually tardy for the exact same reason.  Whatever the circumstances, whatever the occasion, whatever the subject of convocation, whatever its reason or purpose, this maxim applies.  Those who you can count on to be late showing up are late for the same reason – always.  No exceptions!  That reason? 

They are not committed to being on time. 

Punctuality requires commitment.  I am not talking about some super perfectionist attitude.  Kick me in the shins if I’m not there on the dot of 7:00!  That kind of expectation is one destined by the fates and the tides to come up short, especially in a complex world such as ours.  In Jules Verne’s classic “Around the World in Eighty Days” a wealthy, stuffy English gentleman named Phileas Fogg drives everyone crazy in his insistence that things be done precisely by the clock.  A tardy servant, even if on one isolated occasion, would find himself instantly without a job.  All things must be in their place when the schedule, usually his, calls for them to be.   He even gives his fellow club members an argument when they declare the time it takes to circumnavigate the globe to be far in excess of what he has calculated to the day and hour it would take.  And he is so cocksure of himself that he bets them a fantastic sum that he can do it in eighty days (unheard in the 1870s when the story is set) and starts out with his servant to prove it.  Hence, it is no surprise that at the close of the story, when he thinks he is just one day late arriving back in his home country, he feels like crawling into a hole and hiding, until a recalculation proves otherwise and he strolls into his club smugly with only seconds to spare, where his friends are waiting, in vain as it turns out, to collect from him.  Phileas Foggs we can all do without; they are merely amusing, not virtuous exemplars of principle. 

But there is another we can do without.  There is such a thing as slipping into a meeting late, either consciously or unconsciously, so as not to be conspicuous.  This is especially the case when the gathering is large – more other people to hide among; the back row is a favorite spot.  They are not sure they really want to be where they are, doing what they have committed to do (presumably) and it shows by the lethargy in which they place body and brain in the room.  Why did I ever sign up for this? 

Then I perceive that some make themselves late, because it adds to their sense of power.  Business cannot get underway without this person, and choosing for himself/herself exactly when the proceedings begin gives this one a kind of leverage.  It is a perverse pleasure to keep people waiting; a handy way to be somewhat intimidating and self-important and subtly controlling without being overtly rude. 

“Sorry I’m late!”  A practiced latecomer is as likely to be heard uttering these words as any normally punctual person who has been unexpectedly detained.  We immediately sympathize with someone for whom it is a sincere humble apology, someone with a plausible reason.  But when a habitually tardy person says this, we look upon that one with justifiable skepticism.  Sorry you’re late?  Are you really?  Maybe sorry you got caught breaking the promise you made or violating your agreement!  Those three words, “Sorry I’m late,” have become a hackneyed, knee jerk cliché that only takes on substance with a sincere convincing explanation added to them.  It is so clear to me that those in the habit of keeping people waiting are not really sorry at all.  They never stop to think what the world would be like if everyone was as thoughtless and oblivious to time as they are.  They do not seem to realize that by letting some other agenda of theirs even partially get in the way of the agenda they have agreed on with other people they are saying in effect, “My agenda is more pressing than yours.”         

Well, I have issued my maxim; now I want to put forth a paradox.  With what I have said thus far the impression may have been created that I believe the trouble with the modern world is the lack of commitment.  Actually, I believe just the opposite.  Non-commitment is not our society’s problem.  Over-commitment is.  All around me I see decent and saintly citizens who have taken on too many jobs, too many obligations, too many projects.  Even these habitual latecomers that I have been talking about are not usually uncommitted; they are in all likelihood over committed folk.  So many, especially parents of children, are stretching themselves too thin, jamming their time and space with more than they or the children can handle without the loss of serenity and at the risk of endangered health.  I even know goodhearted activists on behalf of worthy causes who think they have to jump upon every bandwagon that runs down their street.  In fact, the existence of habitual tardiness can to a great extent be attributed to this very overreach.  They are not bad people; they are lively people on the move who have forgotten that one object cannot occupy more than one space at the same moment in time.  You cannot keep pace with everything going on.

Early in my life I heard a man I otherwise respected give this dubious advice:  If you have got an urgent task that needs doing, get a busy person to do it.  That busy one knows how to get things done and is used to spending herself/himself.  Do not try to enlist a fresh, untested recruit.  I think it is time for that notion to be buried in the ground along with old wives tales and fairy tales.  I call upon us all to take a deep breath and slow the pace enough that those elusive priorities cease to be so elusive.  Let us spare ourselves the embarrassment of having to declare, however sheepishly, “Sorry I’m late!”


To read other entries in my blog, please consult its website:  enspiritus.blogspot.com.  To learn about me consult on the website the blog entry for August 9, 2013.

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